Obedience is a hard things isn't it? It is hard to teach my 4 year old to obey, and it is hard in my relationship with God.
Reagan is so stubborn. She has to be told something multiple times before she obeys, and even then she continually asks questions about why she has to do what Gene or I told her to do. Even through spankings, she is continually asking me why. I told my Dad just the other day that God gave me exactly what I was as a child, and still am today. Stubbornness ruled my character, and I continually fight against the desire to have my way as an adult. I cannot always have my way. As much as I would like that, life just doesn't work that way.
Reagan is so much like me it is scary. Everyday we could have a screaming match because she wants her way and I want mine. I have to remind myself that she is 4 and I am the adult and I will not argue with her. About once a day I say to Reagan, "Because I am the momma...that's why!" or "Your job as a child is to learn to obey me...all the way, with a happy heart". I know she is sick of me saying those words, and quite frankly, I wonder how many more times I will have to repeat them. Just yesterday, I got so frustrated that I went into my bathroom and said over and over again to myself, "I am the momma! I am the momma! I am the momma!" Sometimes I just need to remind myself and then I go and remind Reagan. She can be one tough cookie, and looking back I know I exasperated my parents as well.
There are so many parallels between parenting and being in a relationship with God, my heavenly Father. He deeply desires that I obey Him fully. I can see in Reagan that if she doesn't obey me all the way, she disobeys me. If she doesn't obey me with a happy heart, she might as well disobey me. I want her to obey out of love and respect and God desires the same from me.
John 14:15 says, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." That means that if I truly love God then I will have a heart that will obey Him.
I can clearly see this verse played out in my relationship with Reagan. I want her to obey me the first time and obey me consistently because she loves me and she trusts me. She doesn't need to understand my command or agree with it and, God desires that exact same thing out of me.
Obedience is an exercise of the will, isn't it? Emotions have to be left out of this equation. I have to come to a place where I willingly disregard what I want and choose to set my mind on the things of God and His way of doing things, even when I don't understand the why of what He is asking me to do. I have to come to a place of full surrender in my walk with Him, acknowledging that He is in complete control. God is still working on this with me and we have been in relationship together for almost 30 years.
Hopefully, Reagan will not be an adult before she gets the concept that "I am the momma". But, if it takes that long, I am pretty stubborn and I am up for the battle. God hasn't given up on me and I will not give up on her.
Until next time...
Anger Is Not the Way
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