Stress

Well, as a mom of two children I am discovering that I absolutely cannot let myself get behind. After the busy weekend we had I am still trying to catch up with housework, church lessons, laundry, cleaning, etc. I have had a headache for the last two days and I know it is from stress. This is stress that I put on myself. I stress about things I want done around the house on a daily basis, simple things like making the beds. When the bed is made, the entire room seems to be in order...or at least it gives the impression of order. I like the impression of order, even when my spirit is completely crazy. When I walk into my bedroom and the bed is made it makes me feel like I at least accomplished something today.



I'll give you a random example of two things that have a day to be done. Every Sunday afternoon I sit down and make the menu for the week and then I make my grocery list and pull my coupons. I basically have everything ready to go for Monday morning and after dropping Reagan off at preschool, Gracen and I head to the grocery store. Every other Sunday, I sit down and write out all the bills for that pay period. Gene gets paid every two weeks and I mail off every bill that is due in the two weeks on Monday morning. Well, this past Sunday both activities needed to be done, but neither one of these activites were done. So, on Monday morning, I woke up to a complete feeling of stress. I had some bills that I knew needed to go out and I also had an empty pantry, but no menu plan and no grocery list. And of course, I hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. I woke up with just enough time to get ready and get the kids ready. Needless to say, Reagan was late to school for the first time, and I really hate that. I think it goes back to the impression of order. If I am late to school, Mrs. Marsha might start to think that I cannot get it together as a mom. I taught school for 9 years and when my students were tardy, some habitually, I remember thinking, "How hard is it to get your kids here on time? Get it together, lady." Well, on Monday morning, I was that lady and it was hard to get it together.



I am my own worst enemy. I am hard on myself. I very rarely just lay around and let things go. I know everyone deserves a break, a day off, but when does that time come when you are a mother and you are running a household? When I get really busy outside of my house or I just don't feel like doing anything, I suffer later because the hits just keep coming. The dishes continue to build up in the sink, my family continue to create piles of laundry, and they expect me to feed them 3 meals a day, every day......what's up with that?



I want a day off. I want to go to bed when I want to and I want to get up when I want to and I want everything to freeze at my house while I do nothing. Is that too much to ask? I know it is. I know that is not going to happen. But I just wanted to share my slight frustration. There, I feel better now. Back to the kitchen ...I have got some dishes to do.