What a great day we had in church yesterday! To be around fellow Christians energizes me and truly gives me focus for the week ahead. Between Sunday School and worship, I had to go to the nursery and nurse Gracen. As I was walking down the hallway, I came upon a chance opportunity or maybe a divine appointment. I saw a sweet friend of mine sitting in a chair. I could tell that she was distressed. As I sat down beside her, she began to talk and then cry about a situation in her life. She is trusting God with a struggle she has been facing for many years, a situation that not only affects her, but her family as well. She is a faithful follower of Christ who loves the Lord with all her heart. But at the same time, she is frustrated, she is tired, she is done! As I sat and listened to her, my mind was flooded with all the emotions that I experienced during my YEARS of infertility. I was praying as she was talking, asking God to give me something to say to her, something that would be an encouragement to her, knowing in my heart that I didn't have the answer she desired. She wants her prayers to be answered, for her wait to be over. Just as I wanted a baby, she wants healing, and only God can bring those kind of things to fruition.
Waiting on God is tough. We are talking about this in the college class that I teach on Sunday nights. We are all waiting on something. We wait to graduate from college, to find that perfect job, to find that perfect spouse, to get married, to have children, to see how our children's lives will turn out, to retire, to find healing, to just make it to the next day.....on and on the list could go.
When we are in the middle of a wait we ask questions like:
When is this going to end? (Lord, I can wait patiently if I just know that you are going to bring a baby to us.)
Why is this happening to me? ( Lord, you are bringing babies to everyone....why not me?)
Did I totally miss my chance? (When my 30th birthday came and went, then my 31st, and my 32nd, I certainly felt like I was getting too old to have children.)
What should I be doing differently? (Lord just show me what you want me to do and I'll do it.)
Is there some kind of sin or shortcoming in my life that is keeping me from achieving happiness or the thing that I desire most? (Being a minister's wife, this question plagued me....there has to be some kind of sin in my life or God would give me the desires of my heart. My sweet friend voiced this very same question as we talked yesterday. She felt this health situation was God's discipline.)
I certainly don't have all the answers. But, I do know that God loves Me and He loves you. He surely has a plan for each one of His children, and He has not forsaken us as we endure a wait.
Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
I love that verse. I held on to it during my infertility. I gave it to my sweet friend. I reminded her that God has a plan for every single thing that touches our lives. During our greatest wait, God builds our character and teaches us to hold on to Him. God uses our experiences to minister to others, to not only grow in our personal faith, but to encourage others to do the same. This life is not just about our happiness, but rather, it is about bringing God glory. That's tough because I know I am not the only one out there who would rather just be "happy" all the time. Looking back over some of the struggles I have endured so far, I can honestly say that I am so thankful....so grateful for all that I have been taught by God and for all that I have received from God. I would like to think that I am a little more grounded in my faith because of my infertility, and Reagan and Gracen were definitely worth the wait! Today I can say that I would not change a thing. If you are in the middle of a wait, hold on sweet friend. Cling tightly to Jesus Christ. He is your hope. He is your answer....even if His answer is different than what you would have chosen for yourself.