Waiting on God has been on my mind lately....probably because I am teaching on that topic in the college girls' DT class. Anyway, this morning I was thinking about Reagan and what I am teaching her about waiting and delayed gratification. I love her so much, and I want her to have so many things. I want her to have the desires of her heart. I so enjoy giving her gifts and watching her little face light up as she opens the bag or the wrapped gift that I, or someone else, hands her. I think every parent out there knows what I mean.
She is at the age where she "needs" everything she sees. She is starting to comment on every toy commercial, letting me know that she doesn't have the item that is before her eyes on the TV screen. "I want that, Momma," she'll repeat over and over again until I give her some kind of response. She certainly doesn't understand the value of a dollar or why she cannot have everything. That would be nice, wouldn't it? But really, I guess that would eventually get old too! King Solomon discovered that, of course, I would like the opportunity to discover that truth for myself. With Reagan, I am discovering that she is never satisfied. I just bought her a new Barbie movie called The Princess and the Pauper. She loved it for about a week until she saw Barbie and the Three Musketeers being advertised on TV. She quickly told me I could get it at Wal-Mart. "Yes, Reagan. I know where we can get the movie, but we are going to wait a little while before we buy another new movie," I tell her. "Why?" she questions me. On and on the discussion goes with many "Why's" scattered throughout. I want to say, "Reagan, just be grateful for what you have. You have so many blessings." Ouch....I bet God wants to say that to me....in a loud, audible voice.
Most days I am just like Reagan in my relationship with God. No matter what He gives me, no matter how much He blesses me or blesses my family, I can always think of just one more thing that I "need". Don't we all behave the same way. We tell God that if He will just heal this child, give this new job, raise this salary, take this pain away, etc. that we won't ask for anything else, that we will be completely satisfied. Just as that is not true for Reagan, it is not true of us either in our relationship with God. Just as I know, in my limited wisdom, that it would not be beneficial for Reagan's character to get everything she wants, God knows the same thing is true about us. He knows that He simply cannot give us everything we desire and so we pray and wait and as we wait our character is developed. Just as Reagan is going to have to learn to wait for some things, I am still learning to wait on God. I am afraid that this is one of those life lessons, one that will literally take my entire life to grasp. I'm getting there. I would like to think I have a better handle on waiting than Reagan does, but then something happens or I have to wait on something and I catch myself stomping my foot at God again.
I have been reading a book by Ann Graham Lotz called Just Give Me Jesus in the mornings and today I started a chapter on why we suffer. Coincidence....I don't think so. It has a lot to say about the topic of waiting and I'll share some of it over the next couple of days.
Camp Siloam Part One
13 hours ago