Who really wants to share about their faults? I don't, but I really put my foot in my mouth and Gene felt the lesson was blog worthy. Easy for him to say, right? It wasn't his mistake. Anyway, this past Sunday morning, we were close to loading the car to head to church and Reagan starts going on and on about needing to take a Bible. She specifically wanted an extra Bible that Gene keeps at home. In all honesty, I didn't know where the Bible was, the search for the little black Bible would make us late, I didn't feel like looking for it, nor did I want to keep up with it at church. I mean I have enough stuff to carry with 2 girls, their bags, and my own stuff. Her rantings continued for several minutes, which felt like an eternity, and to end the conversation, I said, "Reagan, you don't need to take a Bible....you can't even read it!" I know, horrible right. Her whole countenance fell. I knew I had hurt her feelings, telling her she could not do something. She looked at me with a very hurt expression and said, "The Bible is about God, and we are going to church where we learn about God.....and anyway, my teacher will read it to me." Of course, she said it in her 3-year old voice with some pauses in between. Yes, I felt terrible. Here I am, a minister's wife and I am discouraging my daughter from carrying a Bible to church.
I remembered that I still had a brand new white Bible that she received for her Baby dedication in her closet. I apologized to her and said that I had a special Bible just for her. She was thrilled with it and said, "Oh, it's so pretty and I know Esther is in there." (She has developed a fascination with the story of Esther....ask her and she tell you about her) Anyway, I sat down with her and found the book of Esther and turned down the corner of the first page so she could find it later.....and yes we were late for church.
When we arrived at church and entered her class, I was still thinking that she didn't "need" the Bible and it was something else for the teacher to keep up with. I was just about to apologize to the teacher for bringing "something else" when she said, "Oh Reagan, you have your Bible today. Let's put it with the others and then we will get it out during our story time." It was like salt in the wound. I really thought Reagan would be the only one with a Bible, but no, she was probably the only one without a Bible. I know, I know, horrible. Here I am a minister's wife and I haven't been sending a Bible with my child to church. I did talk to the teacher about it later and she said that even though they don't read from their Bibles, they do need to get in the habit now of bringing it to church. How true!
All I can say is that I am learning on my first child. Gracen is just 4 months old and I think I'll start putting her little white pocket Bible in her diaper bag now.
Anger Is Not the Way
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