Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Happy Birthday Reagan

Today is Reagan's 5th birthday! I cannot believe that she is 5...that we have had her in our lives for 5 years. She still cannot comprehend what a gift she was and still is to our family. After 10 years of marriage and 8 years of trying to conceive, she was God's answer, through adoption, to our greatest desire for a baby. What a blessing! What a gift!

These pictures, taken by my niece Ariel Reynolds, totally exemplify Reagan. She is so full of joy all of the time. She talks all the time, sings all the time, and totally enjoys herself wherever she is...just like with these leaves. I showed a few of these pictures in my Thanksgiving post, but I had to post them again in honor of her special day because I just love them.

I think she is absolutely beautiful.
I am honored to be her mommy.

Just this morning, as I was studying in the book of James, I was reminded of the trial that I endured during all those years of infertility. It was hard and I am glad that it is behind me.
Am I thankful for the trial of infertility? Yes! Would I go through those years again? Yes!

I learned so much about God and His faithfulness during those years. I learned how to pray. I learned how to dig into His Word. I learned how to search for Him. I also wouldn't have Reagan without the process. So I would never wish that away.

James 1:2-4

"Consider it all joy, my brethen, when you encounter various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete."

In studying these verses, I found this in a commentary...

"Too often we become frantic to cut short the trial, without consulting the Lord about His purpose for it. And then it is possible that we just might have to undergo an even longer trial in the future before His particular purpose is realized in us. Most of us lack wisdom to view the pressures of life from God's standpoint. We adopt a short range view, occupying ourselves with the immediate discomfort. We forget that God's unhurried purpose is to enlarge us through pressure."

I would definitely say that during my infertility I was frantic to see it come to an end. I didn't see it from God's perspective and I certainly didn't count it all joy. Looking back though, I can clearly see that He never left my side.

God has a purpose for every single thing that touches our lives. Problems are necessary. They stretch us and make us grow. The fruit of the Spirit cannot be produced when all is sunshine... there must be rain and dark clouds too.

Trials are going to come until His purposes are realized in me...until I am perfect and complete. I won't be perfect and complete until I draw my last breath and meet Jesus face to face. That tells me that trials will continue to be a apart of my life, and I need to yield to them and allow God to use them to refine me.

Happy Birthday Reagan. God used you to teach me so much. He is still teaching me much through you and your story.

I love you more than words could ever say.

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