Not Guilty

I won't be blogging much this week. I just felt the need to say that right up front.

I am teaching two break-out sessions for my church's upcoming women's retreat, and it is only a little over a month away. I feel like I really need to get started on those lessons, so they will be getting my free time this week. As a mother of little ones, I have to pick and choose what to do with any free time I can find. Can any momma relate?

I did want to share something that happened on Saturday though. I was cleaning my sister's office in Montgomery Saturday morning, a little job I do once a month. I was by myself in this office building...just me and my ipod full of great contemporary Christian music. I had just downloaded some new music and was excited to listen to Mandisa's latest album. I had heard that it was really good. Anyway, the album is awesome...all of it.....good stuff. When I got to the song titled "Not Guilty", I was absolutely undone. I mean I was overcome with emotion in a way that I am not sure I can explain. Over half way through the song, I had to stop vacuuming and I got on my knees and praised God for saving me. I was weeping, confessing sin, and thanking Him for knowing me, for loving me, and for saving me, especially when I am so unworthy. I mean, I cried an ugly cry y'all, the kind where you cry all your make-up off. It felt good...like a purging of the soul. I listened to the same song over and over again for close to an hour.

I have thought a lot about that moment since Saturday morning, and I wish I could stay in that place of thankfulness, every second of every day. It is just too easy to forget what Jesus did on the cross for me. I get wrapped up in my "self" and take for granted the ENORMOUS sacrifice that was made on my behalf.

"Not Guilty" was the most powerful song I have heard in a long time, and I wanted to share it with you today. I realize that we are all at different places and something might hit me so much different than it hits you. But maybe you will be as blessed as I was. I want to encourage you to take 4 minutes out of your day and listen to a song that tells what will happen to the REDEEMED on judgement day....and a judgement day is coming. I hope you know that and I pray that you know HIM. Nothing else really matters.

To listen to the song click HERE. And if it doesn't play....someone please let me know and I will try to correct it.

To my EMBC people...as I was listening to this song, I thought about Teri Hattfield. She has just the right amount of soul to sing this for our church. I love to hear her sing, and I am going to share this song with her. I hope she sings it!

I will post an entry this week with my scripture memory verse for March 1st.

Until then...

A Restless Evil...Really?

As you know from my last blog entry, I have been studying the use of the tongue in the book of James. Man, it has been so convicting. As I have thought things and yes, still said things, verses of scripture have popped into my mind. That is the purpose of Bible study and scripture memorization, isn't it? The Holy Spirit uses those things to help me stay on the correct path.

Anyway, yesterday I found a few more interesting thoughts that I thought I would share.

James 3:7-12 talks about the fact that every single animal in the wild can be tamed but the tongue can not be tamed. It is a restless evil, full of poison, just like a venomous snake. From the same mouth I can bless my Father in heaven and then turn around and curse my fellow man. Yes, James...you are so right. These things should not be. My speech, which flows from my heart should be consistently good, just as a fig tree will only produce figs or a fresh water source will not produce salt water.

I guess I honestly don't ever think of my tongue as being a "restless" evil. I mean who thinks that kind of thought on a daily basis. But, yet I know it is. I know in a moment's notice, I can go from happy and carefree to spewing venom just as a poisonous snake would. It would be easy to read vs. 8 that says "the tongue can never be tamed" and shut the Bible, thinking that that gives me permission to not even try. Unfortunately, I don't think that is my free card to use sarcasm whenever I would like.

I have to invite the Holy Spirit into my daily journey every single day through prayer. Two great verses to pray are Psalm 141:3 and Psalm 19:14.

Psalm 141:3 says "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips."

Psalm 19:14 says "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."

I have read these verses before, but they spoke to me more than ever after studying the tongue for an entire week. These verses need to be on my refrigerator so I will see them throughout the day. I need to be reminded often. Blame it on my crazy female hormones!

One of my commentaries said that all speech....ALL SPEECH...should pass a threefold test: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Oh goodness...

The more I study God's Word the more I see how far I have to go!

And this little beauty has nothing to do with my James study. I just love this little face and couldn't resist sharing these photos from our little playground session on Wednesday. We enjoyed some "Mommy and Gracen" time while Reagan was in school.

What a precious little thing. She has no idea what a gift she is to me!

Until next time...

My Tongue

I am studying the section in the book of James that has to do with controlling my tongue. You can read it in James 3:1-12. This is the section of study that compares the tongue to different things to help you realize the power of such a small thing. It is compared to a bit that is placed in a horse's mouth, that can then control the entire horse. It is then compared to a small rudder on a huge ship, that can control the direction of the entire ship. And in today's reading, the tongue is compared to a small fire that can destroy an entire forest. One phrase stuck out to me in this section....James 3:6 talks about the tongue being set on fire by hell itself.

Satan's main job is to kill, steal, and destroy. He wants to divide and tear apart my home and the important relationships in my life. Just a few little words spoken in frustration, spoken from exhaustion, spoken in sarcasm, or spoken in just plain anger can hurt and leave scars that can never be erased.

The study has really convicted me of the power of my words. Don't we all take for granted the freedom that we have with our mouths. Words just roll right out of my mouth without much thought to the aftermath that might be left behind.

I realized during this study that I am much more guarded in public settings than I am right here in my home. Motherhood is tough. It is exhausting. It is a never ending job with no time off and no vacation days. I have days when I wake up and I just don't want to do it "today". Just as the paid employee looks forward to the weekend, I look forward to that day off. But yet that day never comes. My selfishness and my pure exhaustion can develop into negativity and sarcasm quickly. Instead of focusing on all the blessings in my life, I start to focus on the perceived negative aspects.

I know the power of my words. I know that I set the temperature in my home. I know that every single day I model Christ to my girls through my actions and my words. Starting today I want to do a better job of stopping the words as thoughts only. I cannot tell you how many times I think a sarcastic thought in response to something Reagan has done or said. She is five and simply does the most annoying things at times. She doesn't "get" sarcasm though. She just knows that Momma is irritated with her.

On a daily basis I have to set a guard over my mouth. I cannot let Satan have control....and he will take control if I let him. Words start as thoughts and 2 Corinthians 10:5 says that I have to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. That is easier said than done because words slip out so fast. This will probably be my next memory verse for March 1st because it is something that I need to be mindful of every single day.

My friend Dana Roten and I are emailing each other every morning and sharing our quiet times with one other. She shared two thoughts about the tongue that I wrote down because I wanted to remember them.
1. Words are like toothpaste. Just as toothpaste cannot be put back in the tube once it has been squeezed out; neither can words be taken back. (Like I said, I can easily apologize but the scars remain.)
2. The tongue is "YOU" in a unique way; a tattletale that tells on the heart and reveals the real person. (Ouch!)

Until next time...

A Trip to the Zoo

We have had a string of beautiful weather over the last week or so. It has been 70 degrees and sunny with a light breeze. Perfect, perfect weather. After being stuck indoors for the last few months due to the cold, we have savored every moment outdoors. The girls have loved every second of it. This is the main reason I have not blogged as regularly as I would like. We are outside so much, and when I am inside, I am trying to catch up on cleaning or I am doing something for...or with...one of the girls.

Anyway, Gene and I took Reagan and Gracen to the zoo a few days ago and I thought I would share a few pictures. We got there at 10:30 in the morning and ended up staying until around 2:00. We had such a great time.

Here is Gene and the girls getting ready to ride the train.

The next several pictures are of the girls playing on the playground. Our zoo has a wonderful playground area. We spent as much time there, if not more, than walking around looking at the animals.

Here we are eating our picnic lunch. I always pack a lunch from home. As much as I love the zoo, the prices there are ridiculous. My children don't even know the zoo has a cafe. Shhhh, don't tell them.

It was a great family day.

The next day Gene left for the weekend to teach at our church's D-NOW. I hate staying by myself. I don't sleep well. I hear every single little noise. I worry that the girls will get hurt or get sick and I won't know what to do.

Of course, neither girl slept. They took turns waking me up both nights. I was lonely and I was exhausted by Sunday afternoon. Thankfully, all three of us slept like rocks with Gene back in the house Sunday night. He brings us all such a sense of security.

My hat goes off to all the single mommas out there. You have one hard job.

Gene will be going on a mission trip soon and will be gone for 8 nights. After the weekend I had, I am a little concerned. I hope I survive.

Until next time.....and with the pretty weather ahead, who knows when that will be.

Wallstreet

I cannot tell you how much I love God's Word. I love how it speaks to my heart and refreshes me like nothing else can. I love that God has given me a desire for it, and the drive to get up early in the morning to seek Him. He faithfully meets me in those early morning hours.

The other night Gene and I were watching the movie Wallstreet: Money Never Sleeps, with Michael Douglas, who has really aged by the way. It is about businessmen who work on Wallstreet and whose single life pursuit is to watch the market to make more and more money. In a single day the market could change causing them to gain millions or lose millions. The loss could lead to suicide or a destroyed life. I don't know if you have seen the movie or not, but I was struck with the same thought throughout the entire two hours. I shared the thought with Gene at the end of the movie and he said that he was thinking the exact same thing. The thought was this...the pursuit of money is so fleeting and so empty. The Wallstreet moguls pursued money every single day from early morning all the way to bedtime. It consumed them. It was a constant chase to earn more and more. Even on the days when millions were earned through the market and through huge bonuses, these men were never satisfied. They wanted more and more and they were never truly happy, never content or joy-filled. I know it was just a movie, but they say that money makes the world go 'round, right.

It made me so thankful that my life is dedicated to pursuing something that is real and meaningful. It gave me such confidence that I am pursuing the REAL DEAL as I pursue Jesus Christ. I was led to thank God for calling us into ministry. Our days are about pursuing Him and pointing others to do the same. What a blessing!

Have you ever watched a movie that disturbed you or made you so thankful that you were saved? Just curious?

Well, I just wanted to share a quick thought. We are headed to the zoo on this beautiful Thursday.

Until next time...

Our Valentine's Day and Memory Verse #4

Our family had a wonderful Valentine's Day. The day started early, in our bathroom of all places. Gene and I were getting ready for the day, and Reagan came running in around 6:30 a.m., which is about 30 minutes early, yelling "Happy Valentine's Day". She hugged both of us and we gave her a gift. We tried to get her to wait until 7:00 when we would wake Gracen up, but no such luck. Here are few pictures of Reagan opening her gift on our bathroom floor...nice.

I always give the girls a book for Valentines and some candy. This keeps it pretty simple and relatively inexpensive for me. I bought Reagan the new book in the Pinkalicious series, Silverlicious. She loved it. She also has two favorite candies, chocolate and gummies, so that is what she got.

At 7:00, I went into Gracen's room to wake her up. She was still in a deep sleep.

Oh, how I love that little face!

Here she is in the den opening her gift after I got her out of the bed and dressed her.

Sorry for the fuzzy picture....Here she is walking away with her little board book and a little purse with some candy inside. Gracen adores purses and has carried this one around for 2 days now. Reagan is not really into purses so I bought her a little more candy.

After all the morning festivities, I took Reagan to school and ran a few errands with Gracen.

Then I went to Reagan's Valentine's party at her preschool.

Here is a picture of her enjoying the food.

After school, we went to visit my mother who was keeping Hayden, my little niece. She is the same age as Gracen, and it is always fun to get them together and watch them play. We stayed with them for a long time and my mother gave Valentine gifts to the girls.

Of course I forgot to take any pictures.

We came home for room time/nap time.

I thought I had a long leisurely afternoon ahead of me and could put off cleaning the house and getting ready for my dinner date with Gene for at least a few hours. He was suppose to be home at 5:30, but Bro. Glenn dismissed all the staff of EMBC around 3:30 to go and be with their spouses on Valentines. That was really nice. Gene called his mom on his way home from work and got her to come and pick up the girls early and our date night started at 4:00. Funny!

We had a wonderful dinner: steaks, baked potatoes, Caesar salad, yeast rolls, and chocolate for dessert...all by candlelight. We watched a movie and had some yummy flavored coffee. I was so full at bedtime, I wasn't sure I could sleep, but I did. What a great night! We just savored the peace and quiet and truly enjoyed each other's company.

On to my scripture memory verse #4...

Today is the 15th which means I pick a new verse of scripture to memorize. I have done well so far and have the first three set to memory, and it is amazing how timely the verses become and how God brings them to my mind throughout the day.

For the next two weeks, I decided to go with James 1:26-27. This is from my current study and I actually just blogged about these verses HERE. They have really been on my heart and mind so I think I will commit them to memory.

James 1:26-27 "If anyone considers himself to be religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (NIV)

That is such a powerful verse to me. I want it to be true of my life, which means that I have some work to do, not in my own power, but by the power of the Holy Spirit at work within me.

Happy Friday

I am thrilled that the weekend is here. No particular reason. It is suppose to be sunny all weekend and Gene is off tonight and all day tomorrow. We have no real plans, but I am just looking forward to some down time with my family.

Tonight we are having a family movie night complete with the air mattress, popcorn, and sprite. After the girls go to bed, Gene and I rented a movie that we are going to watch by ourselves.... I know, exciting stuff.

In my last entry I wrote about how important it is to pray for your children and I asked for people to share additional things that they pray for their children. I wanted to pass on a few of those to you...

• that my daughters will have an amazing bond of friendship that will last a lifetime
• that both girls will value their purity and protect it until marriage
• that I will have a close relationship with both girls....you know, moms and daughters tend to argue...I sure would love to have that "open door" relationship where the girls feel comfortable telling me anything

Those are some great additions to my prayer list.

As far as my personal quiet time, I have spent this last week studying James 1:26-2:13. As I conclude 4 weeks in this book, I can say with all honesty that James is really tough to study because it has made me question myself and my love for Christ based on "fruit" that is in my life....or maybe I should say lack of fruit.

See if these first two verses smack you in the face as they did me...

James 1:26-27 "If anyone THINKS himself to be religious and DOES NOT bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is WORTHLESS. PURE and UNDEFILED religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit ORPHANS and WIDOWS in their distress, and to keep oneself UNSTAINED by the world."

Pretty clear...

Useless religion...saying whatever I want with my unbridled tongue, doing nothing for orphans and widows, and remaining in a state of unconfessed sin

Pure religion...using self control with my bridled tongue, showing mercy and compassion for the orphans and the widows (those less fortunate), and confessing sin in my life

This verse describes the Christian life. How I am measuring up in light of Scripture? Not nearly as well as I could be.

God has been convicting both of us of this fact. We certainly have to take care of the needs of our own family, but God has supplied more than enough for us to do that while still meeting the needs of others. Too often though, we close our eyes to the needs of others and buy one more material thing for "us".

In January, we were throwing around the idea of getting a new car for me. When I say new, I mean used, but new to me. Both of our vehicles have well over 100,000 miles on them. Mine is 8 years old and Gene's truck is 10 years old. We haven't had a car payment in over 5 years. We realize that they aren't going to last forever. But, the more I thought about it, I just couldn't get a peace about it. My vehicle still gets me from A to B. It serves its purpose for today. Yes, we are extremely cramped into my little Escape when we head out for vacation, but that is only once a year. We could absolutely afford the payment because we have no other debt but our home, but something inside of me just didn't feel good about it. It just isn't time.

I think too many Christians tie up every single dollar in car payments, house payments, and just revolving debt and then say they cannot give to the poor. And they are right...in that state, they cannot give to the poor. Gene and I are trying to be more sensitive to the needs around us locally and abroad and we want to have the funds available when God prompts our hearts to help someone in need.

I don't think I will ever understand Christians who live in the biggest houses and drive the nicest cars. There is just too much need in the world for that. After studying James for the last three weeks, especially this past week, I know that I am going to have to give an account not only for my words and actions, but also for what I do with my money.

Just think what would happen if every American Christian would sponsor a child through Compassion International. Surely most could carve $38.00 out of their monthly budget. We would put a huge dent into world poverty and that is exactly what God expects us to do. Sadly, for most that $38.00 will be spent on one more dinner out.

Truly convicting...