Whew!

About Thursday night, I realized that I had not blogged since Tuesday morning. What can I say, it was a pretty busy week. It seems like every single day brought something else that needed to be done to prepare for Gracen's birthday party on Saturday.

On Wednesday, I left the house at 8:00 and returned home around 12:30. I went to buy some last minute party items, Gracen's birthday gift, some graduation gifts, and 2 mother's day gifts. All the in and out of various stores is not so quick with a baby in tow. When we arrived home, I had to make lunch for the girls and then we played outside until it was Gracen's nap time. Once I finally got Gracen down, I had some cleaning that had to be done, and before I knew it was time to leave for church. We leave around 4:30 and we don't get back home until about 8:00 or so.

On Thursday, I took the girls to the zoo. I met 5 other moms from my church and of course, they all brought their children. We really had a good time walking and talking, talking and walking. Again, we were gone most of the day. We were home for a few hours and then headed over to our local Chick-Fil-A where there was a benefit to raise money for Beverly Easley. She is a member of our church, a mother of 8 children and she has a recurrence of breast cancer. It is bad this time and she is being sent to MD Anderson in Texas for some experimental treatments. Chick-Fil-A offered to give a proceedof all sales to the Easley family to cover some of their expenses. Our church is praying for a Red Sea kind of miracle for this sweet and godly family.

Gene and I started to not to go to the restaurant because it is a 25 minutes drive for us one way. We make that drive a lot going back and forth to church. It was fine when it was just the two of us, but not always so convenient with two little ones. Anyway, we were just going to make a donation to the cause, but, at the last minute, we decided to go and I am so glad we did. I was blown away by all the people that were there. It was standing room only. There were no tables available, all the cashiers had long lines of people waiting to order their food, the parking lot and all the surrounding parking lots were full, and there were two long lines waiting for the drive thru. I was simply amazed. Chick-Fil-A broke all sales records over the course of the day. That is a sure God thing. And I have to say, it felt really good to just be a part of it, to be a part of a community effort to help someone else. We enjoyed our time together as a family, and we enjoyed talking to our extended church family, as most of them were there.

On Friday, I did my normal routine of taking Reagan to school at 8:30 and picking her back up at 11:30. Of course, I had to run back to Wal-Mart because I forgot a few things when I was out on Wednesday. I cleaned some more on Friday afternoon, and then I went with my mother-in-law to the Holtville fair....and yes, it was exciting as it sounds. We met my niece and nephew, Abby and Jacob, and the kids really did have a great time.

On Saturday, it was party day. Gene cleaned up the outside and I cleaned up the inside, as best I could between the needs of the two girls. Before I knew it, it was 5:00, party time and that is where I am going to leave you tonight.......

We had a fantastic party for little Miss Gracen and I will post those pictures tomorrow.

Until then,

Happy Birthday Gracen

Well, I told you that today was a big day around here....It's Gracen's birthday!!! She is one year old. I can hardly believe that it has already been a year. I vividly remember this morning one year ago. I was so ready to see that precious little life that had been growing inside of me for 9 months, and I was so ready to have the pregnancy stage over with and behind me.

Gene left for work this morning around 7:20, and right before he left we were talking about what we were doing at this time in 2009. He was probably eating a biscuit and I was laying in my hospital bed, waiting and praying.

We arrived at the hospital around 5:15 a.m. for my induction and it probably took until about 7:00 to get checked in, dressed in the hospital garb, and get connected to the I.V., etc. I certainly don't remember moment to moment, but I do remember how nervous I was, how yucky I felt at times due to changes in my blood pressure, and how comforting it was to have Gene, my parents, and Gene's mother in the room with me. I think the doctor broke my water somewhere around 10:00 and I was fully dilated by 12:00 and ready to push. I had an epidural and by this point I couldn't feel a thing...thank the Lord. I remember those pushes. It felt so surreal, like I wasn't really doing it. Part of me couldn't believe that I was actually having a baby after nearly 13 years of marriage. That is still a miraculous thought to me.

Both moms stayed in the room and of course, Gene was by my side, as well. I pushed about 30 minutes and then I heard the doctor say something like, "Look down....look down...here she comes." I did look down and saw her as she entered the world. It was amazing! Simply amazing! Words could never express that moment and I won't even try to do it justice here. She arrived at 12:37 p.m. and weighed 7 lb. 10 oz. She was absolutely perfect with a rosy complexion and a head full of black hair. To say that I fell in love the moment I saw her is an understatement. I loved her fully and completely in that moment and that love only grows day after day.

Gene and I were completely content with one child, with the blessing that God had given us with Reagan, and we were O.K. with the fact that we would never conceive and never give birth to a child. Oh my...how that little girl opened our eyes and our hearts to something that we didn't even know was missing. It didn't take long to realize that we could never go back to being a family of three.

My doctor, Matthew Phillips is a strong christian man, and I remember him saying verses from Psalm 139 and offering God a prayer of thanksgiving right after I delivered her. At that moment, the following verses came to life as never before....

Psalm 139:13-16 "For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them."

Oh, what a precious gift we were given on May 4, 2009. I will never be the same.

Here is an early picture of Gracen. She is about 2 1/2 months in this shot. Unfortunately, I do not have any earlier pictures saved on this laptop that I am currently using.

And here she is at 11 months. I think I have probably shared this picture before, but I just love that big smile.

We are celebrating Gracen's birthday with a family party/cookout this coming Saturday night at 5:00. I am so excited about her celebration. I have all the food and the decorations ready to go. Just waiting on the big day! I will certainly be posting those pictures.

****Below is a short birthday note to Gracen.

Happy Birthday my sweet little Gracen...my little bit...my little Miss May. Words could never express how much I love you. Your Daddy and Reagan are pretty crazy about you too. You have brought so much joy to all of our lives. You are so special, a miracle gift from God above. You arrived after 13 years of marriage and 10 years of trying to conceive a child. We are still overcome with joy that you are part of our family.

You fulfilled so many desires in me. Because of you I know what it feels like to carry a baby, what if feels like to feel a baby move inside of me, what it is like to watch my stomach grow and stretch and grow some more...just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any bigger, what it is like to throw up and be excited about it, what it is like to see a precious life on an ultrasound screen and be amazed, what it is like to be scared to death of delivery day, what it is like to be excited about every centimeter of dilation, what it is like to receive an epidural, what it is like to push a child into this world, what it is like to nurse my own flesh and blood, and what it is like to look into the face of a child that our love created...a face that looks mostly like your Daddy, but that's O.K. I happen to like his face. You certainly have some of my traits as well. You have my crooked pinky finger, my nose, my round cheeks, and I am so sorry, but as of today, you have my thighs. Maybe they will slim up as you start to walk more and more.

I love your sweet little smile.

I love your easy disposition.

I love your your little chubby fingers and chubby toes.

I love your brown (turning blond) hair.

I love your wobbly little walk.

I love that you are an awesome sleeper.

I love that you will ride in the car all day, if I need you to.

I love your laugh.

I love your beautiful eyes....eyes that look just like your Daddy's.

I love that I spend my days with you.

I love that you said Ma Ma before you said Da Da.

I love your constant humming of the "mmmmmm" sound.

I love every single thing about you and wouldn't change a thing.

Know that I pray for you everyday. My prayer for you is the same prayer that I pray for your big sister, that you would come to know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. You will find no lasting worth or satisfaction in this life apart from Him. We hope you see Jesus in us as we raise you by His strength and wisdom. I am so thankful for you, so thankful that I am your Mommy. Your daddy and I will always love and support you in all things. I am looking forward to this next year with you.

Love,

Mommy

Weekend Wrap-up

Well, Friday night I was home alone with the girls. Gene took the college students to "Secret Church" at Brook Hills in Birmingham. He was so convicted by this event and the material that was taught. It was about money, possessions, and materialism and having a radical faith...different from the American culture. He has been reading and praying like crazy since he got back . You can check out the website at http://www.secretchurch.org/ I am waiting for the web-site to post the sermons from Friday night so I can hear the awesome preaching that Gene heard. But, you can check out past events while you wait, if you are interested.

The Secret Church event was from 6:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. in Birmingham, but didn't end until 1:00 a.m. That put Gene getting home at 2:55 a.m. You will remember that we had to take Gracen to Children's Hospital that morning and we got up at 4:30 a.m. Gene was almost awake 24 hours. I felt guilty when I went to sleep at 8:30 Friday night, but oh well. I slept like a rock, too. Gene did get to sleep until about 10:00 Saturday morning. I was up bright and early with both girls and then had to keep them both quiet for hours. That was fun. So I guess we are even.

We hung out around the house on Saturday, eating lunch together and hanging out with the girls outside. That is always nice. Gene had to head over to the church for chair set-up at 5:00 so we decided to make a date out of it. I called Kimberly Hunt, one of Reagan's favorite people, to ask if she was free. Thankfully she was. Had she been busy, we would have called Jenna Sanders, another favorite of Reagan's. I feel completely comfortable with either one of these sweet girls keeping my daughters. They are actually the only 2 people who have watched Reagan and Gracen besides family members. They both love the Lord and are completely trustworthy. Gene and I feel blessed to have them in our lives and to have them love our girls like they do.

Gene and I went to Longhorn, our absolute favorite restaurant. I had a gift certificate that my sister Lindsay gave me for my birthday back in April. She knew it was a favorite location for us. Thanks again Lin...the dinner was yummy! The conversation was even better. God is stirring both of our hearts in similar ways and we spent the whole time just discussing different things. It was nice to talk to each other without Reagan or Gracen interrupting us every 2 syllables...God love 'em.

On Sunday, we headed to church for a great day of worship. Gene taught a rich lesson in Sunday School about moving beyond the basics in your Christian walk. I thought it was pretty powerful and contained many things that we all (as Christians) need to be reminded of....

• Study the Word of God....Dont' just read the Word, but really study what it means. I need to pray and ask God to help me be mighty in the scriptures...to read it, know it, and APPLY it. When I am doing those things, my life will become a "letter" that God has written on my heart for other people to read as they watch my life. *That is pretty convicting, especially raising children.
• Show your passion for God....I should always have a fervency about my relationship with God. I shouldn't let my love and passion for Him fade away due to the stresses of life. When I don't feel like praying, that's when I need to pray. When I don't feel like reading my Bible, that's when I need to read my Bible. When I don't feel like giving God praise, that's when I need to praise Him. Well, you get the idea. My life should always show that He is my first love....above all other things.
• Speak boldly for God...I need to always be ready to share my faith. I need to be looking for those opportunities and take them as God opens the door. If I am afraid, I need to pray for boldness, trusting that He is going to give me the exact words to say.
• Stay teachable...No matter how much a person knows about the Bible, they only know a "drop in the bucket" because God's Word is infinitely rich. I do not ever need to get to a place where I think I know it all, that I don't have to read God's Word, that I don't need to listen... I don't ever want to become arrogant or prideful in my knowledge of God.
• Serve alongside the people of God...I need to stay connected to a local body of believers and I need to be actively engaged in ministry. This one is hard for me right now because anything I do outside of this home, takes me away from my girls and requires me to get a baby sitter or drag them around at all hours of the day and night (depending on the area of service). I miss teaching and doing a lot of the things I did with Gene before we had children, but I know I am called to my girls. That includes respecting their routines and bedtimes. I am more sensitive to this with a baby in the house, and I am looking forward to doing more things related to ministry as Gracen gets a little older.

Gene shared some other points, but these really spoke to me. I hope they speak to you as well.

Well, check back tomorrow.

It will be a big day around here.

Gracen's Appointment

I just want to say thank you for all the prayers that I know have gone up on Gracen's behalf. I certainly felt God's peace and presence today....and I think the news was good.

We all had a pretty good night's sleep and we woke up around 4:30 this morning. We left our house at 6:03, which was 3 minutes behind schedule. Not too bad! We had to be at Children's Hospital by 8:00 and we were concerned about the morning traffic. Thankfully, we arrived at 7:45, even though the traffic was pretty congested from Alabaster all the way to our exit.

When we first arrived, I just stared at the building, even though I had been there many times before, and thought, "We should not be here. We should be at home watching cartoons and doing our regular thing." I started to get that nervous, yucky feeling. I started praying and honestly started to feel better. We made it to the correct clinic and started the registration process. All the people were very friendly to us and to Gracen. After, we did all the paperwork, we headed up to the second floor to the clinic where Gracen's procedure would be performed. You know I started crying in that elevator. Not an ugly, snot rolling kind of cry, just eyes filling up with tears, kind of cry. I guess it was just the anticipation of what was about to be done to Gracen. What parent wants their child to hurt, ya know? To make matters worse, she was laughing and smiling, happily investigating this new location. Little did she know what was about to happen!

We had more paperwork to complete in the second waiting room, which in all honesty, gave me time to collect myself. My parents arrived shortly after I completed that set and their presence brought me a GREAT sense of relief. We headed back to have the Gracen's catheter dye test around 8:35 or so and we were completely done at 9:07, which included undressing her, talking to the technicians, and redressing her. That in and of itself is a praise. I was told that it could take up to 45 minutes or longer , depending on how long it took Gracen to completely empty her bladder.

When the technician inserted the catheter, Gracen let out a high pitched scream and then started to cry. Two technicians held her legs down and Gene and I held her arms. She cried and squirmed and fought almost the entire time, which was heartbreaking. I just wanted to scoop her up and run away...like that would solve her problem. She emptied her bladder and then the nurse filled it up with dye and she emptied her bladder again, over the course of several minutes. She did give us some moments of calm throughout the procedure which gave us a chance to take a deep breath.

Gracen really did great and the tech. said she got great pictures and everything that she needed. That technician was really good and really quick with that catheter. She had it in Gracen in what felt like 5 seconds.

We had to wait a good hour to see the doctor and discuss the results. Gracen does have reflux of urine between the bladder and the kidneys, meaning that some of it goes back up into the kidneys rather than all exiting her body. This is causing kidney infections, not just UTI's. The right ureter tube has a reflux grade between 1 and 2 and the left ureter tube has a grade of 3. (For those of you who read Facebook, I said it backwards there.) The highest grade is a 5. The doctor said that 60-70% of all children grow out of this without surgery. That is what we are hoping and praying. Thank the Lord, they didn't find something really horrible today. Basically we found out what we already knew.

The plan is to go back in 6 months (Oct. 29th) for an ultrasound just to monitor the kidneys. Then Gracen will have another catheter dye test (ugh!) 6 months after that, at the end of April 2011. We are praying, and want to ask you to pray, that the reflux is gone a year from now. Over the course of the next year, she will take a low dose antibiotic to prevent infections....or at least we hope it prevents infections...another prayer request. If the reflux is not gone after one year, we will follow the same plan for another year.....6 months=ultrasound, 6 months later=catheter dye test, all while continuing the antibiotic The doctor said this could continue for several years. If she continues to have kidney infections, UTI's or other issues, a surgery to correct the anatomy will be performed. We are certainly praying that it never gets to that point.

I am suppose to watch her for any signs of an infection such as lethargy or fever, and take her in to collect urine if I suspect that something is going on. I am already a worry wart, and I just know I will be taking that child to her pediatrician every time she even whines. Crazy! Pray that God gives me the intuition to just know in my gut when something is wrong.

Thanks again for all the prayers and sweet phone calls and emails. I appreciate it so much!
(Sherry, I received your sweet message and it meant a lot!)

If you have any questions, please leave me a comment below or shoot me an email at gldevaughn@yahoo.com I will answer it the best that I can.

I will certainly be keeping you updated with concerns, prayer requests, and praises.

The Day is Here

Well, the big day is finally here. Gracen goes to Children's Hospital in the morning to have the VCUG procedure done. This is basically the catheter dye test which will show the doctor exactly what is happening with her urine when it flows between the kidneys and the bladder, and the extent of the problem. We were told at Baptist East that she had a mild case, so that is what my spirit is holding on to.

I spoke to a mom at church last night whose has gone through this with all of her daughters. I cannot imagine. She gave me a lot of comforting words about the quality of the hospital and the doctors that we are going to see. She swears it is the BEST place we could go and that seems to be the consensus about Children's Hospital. She did warn me that the procedure is tough to watch because Gracen will not be numbed or sedated in any way and she will scream and kick her legs during the whole procedure, which could last up to 45 minutes. Gracen will need to urinate on the table once the doctor injects the dye, so please be praying that she goes quickly. She did say that babies usually go quickly, but older children who have been potty-trained are usually a little more stubborn. She has a daughter that has had to go through this procedure every year for the last 5 years. How heart breaking.

This mom and several other moms have reminded me that this is a necessary evil for Gracen's ultimate good. Without the knowledge that the test will provide, Gracen could eventually suffer kidney failure due to a build up of scar tissue. I certainly do not want that. So, I guess I am ready to go and have this done. At least, as ready as I can be.

I have been reading verses throughout the day about God's constant presence. I know He is always there, in the good things and the bad things. I love Joshua 1:9 which says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." What a comforting truth from God's Word. I may have to write it down and take it with me to not tremble though. I know I will be nervous for my little one. Another great verse is Hebrews 13:5 where God promises that He will never leave me or forsake me. I can already see that this trial has brought me closer to God. I have definitely been in the Word this week and I have prayed more than normal. Trials have a way of either bringing you closer to God or causing you to turn away. I choose, no matter the outcome, to draw closer to God. I trust His Hand and believe in His goodness....even in the hard moments.

We will be leaving our house at 6:00 a.m. We have to be at Children's at 8:00 and her procedure begins at 8:30. We will wait on test results and then meet with the pediatric urologist at 10:30. Please be praying for us....that we get there safely and on time, for a peace to fill our spirits, for Gracen to be calm, if that is possible, for her to "go" quickly, for the doctor to find her problem, and of course for her healing. I so appreciate all the phone calls that we have received over the last couple of days and all the prayers that I know are going up on her behalf. I will let all of you know about the results tomorrow afternoon.

I wanted to leave you with a few adorable pictures so you will have a visual for your prayers.

This first photo is a little off centered because Gracen simply will not be still, but I still think it is adorable. Oh, what a precious face! Maybe the doctors will think she is just too cute to stick...

Here she is walking towards me. She always smiles big and puts those arms out in front of her. Isn't she something?
You know I had to include a picture of Reagan too. This is a sweet shot and they are both actually sitting still.
And here is one of Reagan. She is such a pretty thing too. Women pay big bucks for curls like those!
God has certainly blessed us and we are grateful!

Until tomorrow...

Weekend Wrap-up

Can you still do a weekend wrap-up two days after the weekend has passed?

Well, here I go, even though there really isn't all that much to wrap up actually. Friday night we had a great time as a family. After pizza, we had one of our family movie nights complete with the queen size air mattress, lots of pillows and blankets, and of course popcorn and sprite. Reagan LOVES this and Gracen is even getting into the gig too. Just in the last month, she has learned how not to fall off the air mattress. She crawls on and off gracefully, which means I can actually sit and watch the movie. Reagan's movie choice was Snow White. I know Gene was thrilled to see this movie again, but he never complained. We watch a lot of girly movies around here, and I guess he has gotten used to this. We were going to make S'mores outside around our firepit, but Reagan just about fell asleep during the movie, so we nixed that idea. After the girls were in bed, Gene and I made coffee and watched TV together.

In my last post, I wrote how excited I was to have Gene home 3 Friday nights a month starting this past Friday night, and then we started talking and realized that he has something the next 2 Friday nights....this coming Friday night is a regular college event and the next Friday night is an annual event at our church, the Graduation Banquet. The last weekend in May, he is going on a white water rafting trip, and we have some graduations thrown in there for good measure. So we will have to wait to settle into this new routine of some more family Fridays as we progress into the month of June.

On Saturday, we were expecting really bad weather, so we literally stayed home all day long. I enjoyed the low key day with nowhere to go and nothing to do. However, by about 4:00 I started to feel like I was in an insane asylum because, let's face it, the monotony just gets to you after awhile. We debated going out to dinner or going somewhere, but thought that as soon as we left the house the storm would hit. We didn't want to risk it, so we just toughed it out until bedtime. Thankfully, we only received some rain and wind, no tornadoes or hail as predicted.

On Sunday, we had another great day of worship. Gene is teaching through Romans in Sunday School, and Bro. Glenn preached another sermon on pride. The worship is always good and, I love being with the EMBC family. The people there are so wonderful and genuinely love our family. After church, we headed home and spent about an hour outside enjoying the sunshine before heading in to put the girls down for their naps. After a restful afternoon, we headed back to church.

Well, I warned you before you started reading this entry...nothing exciting all weekend.

I do have some interesting information about the ordeal Gracen went through on Easter Sunday. I spoke with a ER nurse friend of mine last night for over an hour about Gracen and what brought us to the emergency room that day. We never got a clear answer about why Gracen almost stopped breathing. My nurse friend is pretty confident that Gracen was in septic shock. You would have to google it for a complete explanation, but basically the body starts to shut down, or go into shock, due to a raging infection. Microbes/toxins get into the bloodstream and lead to a decrease in oxygen delivery. 35% of septic shock cases derive from urinary tract infections and 15% of septic shock cases derive from respiratory infections. Gracen had both of these infections. It can occur when the white blood count is higher than 12,000 and Gracen's was 34,000. The ER doctor mentioned this as a possibility, but my pediatrician didn't, and I really forgot about it until now. I read online that the mortality rate from septic shock is approximately 50%, and it is the 13th leading causing of death in the U.S.

Can anyone else say, "Oh, my goodness!!!!!"

This information has greatly changed my perspective from why did we have to go through all of this for a urinary tract infection"...to "Praise the Lord, for getting us to the ER and for sustaining her precious little life." I am so thankful that God chose to reveal her problem to us and so far, is choosing to heal her. We go to Children's Hospital this coming Friday and I have prayed a great deal over the last couple of weeks. I am still a little anxious, but much more ready to go and find out EXACTLY what is going on with her and how we can prevent such an infection from occurring again. Praise the Lord for medical care.

Please be praying for all of us as we get ready to head to Birmingham early Friday morning. I will definitely blog on Friday afternoon, letting you know the results and the plan of action.

Cry for Help

Gracen is walking!

Today she didn't want to stay seated at all.

She didn't want to crawl at all.

That means that I have to stay righ with her....constantly...as she walks on wobbly legs.

I have tried to carry my computer around to blog....didn't work.

Can someone please come watch these kids so I can blog?